Why Short People Are Good at Calisthenics

Why Short People Are Good at Calisthenics (And Why My Friend Left Me Behind!)

A couple of years ago, my friend and I were fresh, broke students with no gym membership and no clue what we were getting into. You know the story. Two guys sitting around, trying to figure out how to stay in shape without emptying their already empty wallets. That’s when we stumbled upon calisthenics—the ultimate bodyweight workout regime that doesn’t care if you can’t afford a fancy gym. All you need is your body, the ground beneath you, and a little space to flail around until you discover the right technique. Simple, right? WRONG.

Before I get into why short people have an unfair advantage, let me tell you about my friend. Let’s call him “Shortie” (he's not actually that short, but he's got that stocky, low-center-of-gravity thing going on). We started this journey together, but spoiler alert: he’s now flipping around, mastering every move while I’m just trying to remember how to hold a plank without my body shaking like a leaf in a tornado.

The “Starting Line” Struggles

We had no idea what we were doing when we began. YouTube became our personal trainer, and street workout parks were our version of a high-end gym. We started with the basics—push-ups, pull-ups, dips. Pretty soon, Shortie’s progress was visible. His form was perfect. Meanwhile, I was still trying to convince my body that a push-up doesn’t need to involve my face hitting the ground.

The frustrating part? His vertical stature—or lack thereof—seemed to give him some kind of hidden advantage. You see, short people tend to excel at calisthenics because of one simple reason: physics. When you’re short, you’ve got less distance to move your body, which means less strain on your muscles. Shortie was breezing through routines that felt like torture to me. His body stayed compact and efficient while I was out here looking like a clumsy giraffe trying to do ballet.

Not Comparing, But… Dang!

Before you think I’m bitter—because I’m totally not (okay, maybe just a little)—I have to point out that comparing myself to Shortie would be pointless. After all, they say comparison is the thief of joy, right? So instead, I embraced my “long-limbed struggle,” grumbling under my breath about how calisthenics is clearly biased against people like me. I’m definitely not jealous of how quickly he nailed the muscle-up or how effortlessly he does handstands now. Nope. Not at all.

I’m just here juggling a few things, you know? It’s not like I’m not committed. Between being the sports director at the Faculty of Education, playing handball, studying Physical and Health Education at Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU), and working part-time at a gym, my time’s a little stretched. I’m basically a human calendar with legs, trying to fit in calisthenics wherever I can, but mostly ending up sore and confused.

And then there’s Shortie, who’s learned every skill in the book and probably made up a few new ones just to rub it in.

Handball vs. Human Flag: Same Struggle

If you’ve ever played handball, you know it’s a sport that demands speed, coordination, and a lot of upper body work. “Hey,” I thought, “this should help me with calisthenics, right?” WRONG. Sure, handball keeps me in shape, but when I’m on the bars, my brain and body decide to act like they’ve never heard of coordination. It’s like my limbs go on strike the moment I try something advanced.

Meanwhile, Shortie’s out there doing human flags, which, by the way, looks like some kind of sorcery to me. How can a person hold themselves horizontally on a pole? And don’t even get me started on his front levers and back levers. I swear, if he does a full planche next, I might just pretend to be supportive while internally plotting my revenge.

But Let’s Not Forget I Have a Life

Shortie’s calisthenics dominance might have something to do with the fact that it’s all he does these days. Me? I’ve got a life, people! I’m not saying Shortie doesn’t, but it’s easy to be a calisthenics king when your biggest responsibility is deciding which protein powder to buy. I’m trying to juggle more things than a circus performer. Between lectures, handball practice, gym shifts, and dodging assignments like they’re landmines, I can barely find time to eat, let alone train as consistently as I’d like.

Also, let’s talk about being the Faculty of Education Sports Director. That’s a whole other level of busy. It’s not all fun and games—well, it kind of is, but the point is, it’s work. I’m out here planning events, managing teams, and making sure no one tries to kill each other during intramural sports. Add that to my workload, and you’ll understand why I’m lagging behind in my calisthenics goals.

December’s Coming, and So Is My “Gaslighting”

All this is to say, when I get back home in December, I’ll have one mission: gaslight Shortie into believing I’m still better than him at calisthenics. Now, don’t judge me! A little healthy manipulation never hurt anyone, right? I’m just going to remind him that I was the one who introduced him to this whole world of bodyweight training. Without me, he’d still be that guy struggling with basic push-ups. So technically, his success is my success.

I’m also going to “forget” to mention that while he was perfecting his muscle-ups, I was out here balancing sports, work, and school like a multi-tasking ninja. Honestly, if life were a calisthenics move, I’d be crushing it right now.

The Final Plot Twist

All jokes aside, I’ve come to realize that calisthenics, like anything else, is a journey. Some people progress faster, especially if they’re short (seriously, it’s a thing!), while others, like myself, have more things to juggle. But hey, I’m not in a rush. The only competition I have is with myself (and maybe just a tiny bit with Shortie). At the end of the day, what matters is that I’m staying consistent, getting stronger, and learning at my own pace.

So yeah, Shortie might be flipping around like a seasoned gymnast while I’m still working on basic moves, but that’s okay. I’m playing the long game. When I get home in December, I’ll let him think he’s won, then I’ll unleash the most epic comeback anyone’s ever seen. And if all else fails? Well, I’ll just blame it on my busy schedule and claim moral superiority.