My Hilarious Journey Through Hinge Exercises

My Hilarious Journey Through Hinge Exercises: The Ultimate Calisthenics List

If you’ve ever tried to do calisthenics and wondered why your back hurts, your hamstrings feel like guitar strings, and your hips pop louder than bubble wrap, then congratulations! You’ve likely stumbled upon the magical world of hinge exercises. Yes, hinge exercises—those awkward, yet oddly effective moves that make you feel like a rusty robot. Let me take you through my laughable, slightly painful, but ultimately rewarding journey of discovering and mastering hinge exercises in calisthenics.

The Day I Met My First Hinge Exercise: The Deadlift Drama

It all started with the deadlift, the granddaddy of all hinge exercises. You see, I thought deadlifts were only for bodybuilders with necks thicker than my waist. But lo and behold, I found out they’re a part of calisthenics too. “Piece of cake,” I told myself, with the kind of misguided confidence only a beginner can have.

I got into position, bent over, and reached for the imaginary barbell because, well, calisthenics doesn’t require weights. But the second I started pulling upward with all my might, I heard a crack. Not from the floor, but from my back. 

Yep, I was in trouble. Turns out, deadlifts (even the bodyweight kind) require more than sheer willpower; they demand technique. I wasn’t just supposed to bend over and hope for the best. No, I was supposed to hinge at the hips, not fold like a beach chair.

Deadlift: 1. Me: 0.

The Back Bridge That Nearly Became a Trip to the ER

After my deadlift disaster, I thought, “There’s gotta be another hinge exercise that won’t make me feel like an elderly tortoise.” Enter the back bridge. The idea is simple: lie on your back, push through your heels, and lift your hips into the air like you’re trying to signal for extraterrestrial life.

I figured it couldn’t be harder than the deadlift. Spoiler alert: it was.

As I pushed my hips up, I felt my entire spine go, “Wait, are we doing yoga or a wrestling move?” My hamstrings screamed in betrayal, my glutes whimpered, and my lower back just gave up entirely. 

But the back bridge, like all hinge exercises in calisthenics, doesn’t care about your feelings. It’s one of those exercises that looks easy but has the potential to humble you in about three seconds. It took me about five failed attempts to realize I wasn’t engaging my core properly—something I apparently needed if I didn’t want to resemble a wet noodle mid-bridge.

Back Bridge: 1. Me: 0.

The Good Morning... That Wasn't So Good

I woke up one morning feeling optimistic about my calisthenics journey. So, I decided to try another hinge exercise I’d read about: the good morning. 

Now, this exercise sounds pleasant enough, doesn’t it? I imagined it would be a nice, peaceful movement, kind of like greeting the day with a gentle stretch. Oh, how wrong I was.

The good morning is like a deadlift’s sneaky little sibling. You stand with your feet hip-width apart, hinge at the hips while keeping your back straight, and then return to standing. Seems straightforward enough, right? Wrong again. 

What the instructions didn’t tell me was how unforgiving this exercise is on your hamstrings, especially if you haven't touched your toes since the early 2000s. I bent forward, fully expecting to stand back up with grace and ease. Instead, I stayed in that bent-over position for what felt like eternity because my hamstrings were tighter than a jar of pickles.

Good Morning: 1. Me: 0.

The Hip Thrust: My One Moment of Victory

After my defeat with the good morning, I needed a win—desperately. That’s when I found the hip thrust. For some reason, this hinge exercise clicked. You sit on the ground, prop your upper back on a bench or any sturdy surface, and thrust your hips toward the ceiling. 

Finally, an exercise where I didn’t feel like a total failure! I powered through several reps, feeling the burn in my glutes and hamstrings without my spine threatening to snap in two. I was so thrilled with my newfound skill that I did what any reasonable person would do: I tried to get fancy.

I added a single-leg variation to the hip thrust, and it was here I learned an important lesson—just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. As soon as I lifted one leg off the ground, I lost all balance, my back slid off the bench, and I ended up flat on my back staring at the ceiling, wondering how it all went wrong.

Hip Thrust: 1. Me: 1 (I’ll take the win where I can get it).

How Hinge Exercises Transformed My Calisthenics Game

Despite my humiliating missteps, hinge exercises became a core part of my calisthenics routine. Once I got the hang of them—pun intended—I realized just how beneficial they are. Here’s why:

1. Strong Posterior Chain: Hinge exercises like deadlifts and back bridges target the muscles along the backside of your body, including the glutes, hamstrings, and lower back. Basically, if you want buns of steel, hinge exercises are non-negotiable.
2. Hip Mobility: You ever try doing a pistol squat with stiff hips? It’s not pretty. Hinge exercises improved my hip mobility, which helped me progress in other calisthenics moves like squats and leg raises.
3. Injury Prevention: Turns out, having strong hips and hamstrings makes you less likely to pull a muscle while doing basic things like picking up groceries or, in my case, trying to impress someone by doing a backflip (still working on that).

4. Better Form in Other Exercises: Hinge exercises teach you how to move properly, keeping your back straight and engaging the right muscles. I noticed a huge improvement in my form for other calisthenics moves, from push-ups to planks.

Hinge Exercises List for Calisthenics Enthusiasts

Now, I couldn’t leave you without a proper hinge exercises list for calisthenics. If you’re brave enough to try them, here’s a solid starter pack:

1. Deadlift (bodyweight variation)
2. Good Morning (without the morning-after regret)
3. Back Bridge (don’t forget your core)
4. Hip Thrust (the one that made me feel like a champ)
5. Nordic Hamstring Curl (if you really want to test your limits)
6. Kettlebell Swings (if you’re into minimalist equipment)

  

If you’re still with me, kudos. You’re clearly ready to embark on your own hinge exercise journey. Just remember: they’re harder than they look, they’ll make you question your flexibility, and they might even humble you. But trust me, they’re worth every wince and groan along the way.

So, the next time someone asks you what hinge exercises are, just smile and say, “Oh, I’ve got a list. And a lot of funny stories to go with it.”